Only For Now
by soulandspirit
Summary: A one-shot extension to episode 9x11, when Nathan and Haley leave the hospital and go home together for the first time after Nathan's kidnapping. Rated T.


**AN:** So this is a new story I've started writing a long time ago. Then life got hectic and yesterday I had the sudden urge to finish it and to finally post it. It's an extension to episode 9.11, when Nathan and Haley go home after leaving the hospital.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of these characters. They rightfully belong to the WB and Mark Schwahn.

* * *

Entering the Scott household, Nathan still couldn't accept the fact there had been a chance he could have never stepped this floor again. Or how there'd been a chance he could have never seen his wife holding their sleeping daughter in her arms. Or how close he was to leave them, his family, all alone. His eyes snapped shut at the thought. He couldn't even think about it and he didn't want to torture himself. The rollercoaster of feelings that had been consuming him for the last hours were already enough. All that mattered was that he _was_ watching his daughter sleeping on Haley's shoulder. He _was _holding Jamie in his own arms. Haley was struggling to put down her bag without waking up Lydia and he couldn't help but stare at her. Her eyes were still teary and her hand was clinging to his jacket. She was making sure he wouldn't stay out of her sight again. He _was_ here. He _was_ with them. Then his eyes focused on the rest of the house. A house he knew by heart, but at the moment felt the need to take in.

"We should put them to sleep." Haley whispered. "It's been a long day." Her hand then cupped his cheek as he nodded. It had seemed like this day had a hell of a lot more than twenty-four hours. Maybe it was because the nightmare he'd been in had finally ended or maybe it was because of Dan's death. But Nathan knew it was both and how emotionally and physically beat he felt as a consequence of it all.

After putting the kids to bed, they both kissed them goodnight even knowing Jamie and Lydia were both out, sleeping like rocks. The day had been too consuming and tiring. Both of them stayed in their children's bedrooms for longer than usual. As much as he fought against it, Nathan couldn't help but think how close he'd been to losing them. What if he had never got them to bed again? What if he didn't get to see Jamie's first basketball game? Or the first time Lydia begged Haley to put some makeup on her? He had already missed her daughter's first steps and it had hurt like hell. He knew he hadn't been guilty and that, in normal circumstances, he would've witnessed that moment. But what if he hadn't made it? Who would Jamie talk to about his first girlfriend? Who would put Lydia's future boyfriend in place?

And Haley... What would her life be without him? Who would protect her? Who would listen to her and support her when life got tough? Who would she complain to about the dirty socks spread over the bedroom floor? Who would hug her or kiss her when she most needed? Who would make love to her in the middle of the night when she yearned to be touched? Who would love her? Would she find another man? Would somebody else get to be a paternal figure for his son and his daughter? Before he realized, his grip on Haley's shoulder intensified and she rested her head on his chest. Enough with the what if's and could be's. He _was_ here. He got his kids to bed and Haley was his. Everything was normal now. Well, _almost_ everything.

Feeling Haley tugging on his hand and pushing him to their bedroom, Nathan smiled tenderly. Finally, he'd be able to hold his wife and it would be just the two of them in the intimacy of their bedroom. He missed her. He wanted her. He craved for her. Haley had always been his escape.

As soon as Nathan closed the door to their bedroom, he felt Haley's body on him. She was hugging him with all her strenght, her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, resting his head on top of hers. They stayed like that for a long time. They didn't need to talk. They already knew what that hug meant and what they were silently saying to each other.

"Talk to me." Haley finally broke the silence and he could feel her hot breath on his neck. "What are you feeling?" Her question frightened him. He didn't really know why. He knew Haley was the only person he would ever be able to pour his heart to. He just wasn't ready for it, not today. He didn't know what to think or what to say. For the rest of today, he just wanted to breathe Haley, smell Haley and see Haley. Nothing else, nobody else. Just the two of them. That always strenghtened him.

"Let's not think about what happened." He suggested as he cupped her face and gently rested his forehead against her. "Let's pretend nothing happened." He kissed her softly, before closing his eyes. "Just for today. You're the only one who can do it." He kissed her again, more roughly this time.

"Do what?"

"Make me forget." He answered, not so innocently pushing his hand under her black shirt and rubbing her stomach. He felt her body shiver and he knew she wanted him just as much. "You're the only one that I want. The only one I've ever wanted." His voice was huskier and he was now kneading her breasts under her shirt. He felt her fingers trying to grip his buzz cut unsuccessfully as her breathing got more laboured. "I want you." His lips were now working on her neck and he intensified her assault on her when he heard her whimper. "I miss you." A kiss. "I love you." Another kiss.

"I love you too." And that was the only thing he heard before she made him forget everything that had happened. He had never been kidnapped. He had never been close to dying. His father had never died saving him. He hadn't killed a man. He hadn't missed her daughter's first steps. He hadn't let his wife suffer with his absense. He had always been here. Even if that lasted just for a moment.

* * *

His eyes were tight shut as he felt her lips all over his face. Haley was telling him how much she loved him and how she was never letting him go as she was dropping feather kisses on his jaw, on his nose, on his forehead, on his ears, on his chin, on his lips... Nathan cupped her face, pulling a strand of her wet blonde locks behind her ear. First, they'd made love on the bed, it had been soft and tender and he'd been ready to combust. Then, succumbing to a primal rush inside of him, he'd pushed them to the wall and it had been fast and rough, before Haley pulled him to the bathroom and turned on the water so they could make love in the bathtub, where they were right now.

Nathan felt her lips on the bruises of his chest. When she'd taken off his shirt earlier that night, she'd gasped at all the cuts and bruises. He knew she had been worried and her eyes even teared up at the sight, but he quickly assured her he was alright. That didn't hurt anymore.

"Does this hurt?" she asked in between kisses as he shook his head.

"Your kisses could never hurt." He heard her laugh and, as always, it was contagious. Soon enough they were laughing together at his corny line. God, he didn't know what he'd do without her. He couldn't help but wonder if, in the future, she'd be kissing some other man's face and chest if something had happened to him. He knew how perfect Haley was and how she would receive a lot of male attention if he weren't in this world anymore. He also knew she was young and that it was only natural that she found love again.

"I would want you to." Nathan said.

"You would want what?" When he heard Haley's voice and saw her eyes focused on his, he realized he had unintencionally vocalized his thoughts. But he wanted her to know and he would tell her. She wouldn't like to hear it or even think about it, but he wanted to. He had to.

Pulling her more on top of him, their bare chests in contact with each other, his arms went around her waist and he pulled her closer to him.

"I was just thinking and if something had happened to me..."

"Nathan." She shook her head before burying her head in his chest. She didn't want to think about such thing.

"Please, let me finish." He said, kissing her forehead. He had been the one suggesting they didn't mention what had happened, but this one thing she needed to know. "A long time ago I told you that if something happened to me I wanted you to know how happy you made me. Remember?" Haley just nodded, focusing solely on his eyes. "When I was there, in that warehouse, what I told you on that day was always in my mind. I began picturing your life if I didn't make it."

"But you are here." In that moment, Nathan glanced at her and she had her eyes closed.

"I know, but even now I can't help but think about the what if's... And I realized how I've never told you something." At that, he felt Haley's body straightening up a little bit more as she looked at him intently.

"If something had happened to me, I would've wanted you to love again." After a few seconds had passed, Nathan looked at her and, maybe for the first time in his life, he couldn't read her. Her face was a mix of adoration, indignation and puzzleness. And then she was laughing. Just like she'd laugh at his jokes or at some story about Tim. "Hales, this isn't funny." he told her when she still hadn't stopped. It was only at his words that she stopped.

"Nathan, that's ridiculous." she finally said, now completely serious.

"Why is it ridiculous?"

"So you'd be fine if I just had another man in my life?" Nathan wasn't sure what she was getting at, but he knew she wasn't understanding what he meant.

"As long as I'm here, you may bet I won't be fine. Far from it. I'm talking about when I'm not here, Hales."

"I know you are, but still. I don't like talking about that, Nathan. It was already too much to take not knowing where you were and how you were." She immediately reached for him again and lighty pressed her lips against his neck.

"I know and this is the last time I'll bring it up, I promise. But I want you to know that, if anything happens to me, I'll want you to be happy. And if you find a man that gives you that, then I'll be happy. You know why? Because _you_ made me happy." Her hands began tracing patterns on his chest as she looked up at him.

"I love you." Haley pulled up and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

"But?"

"But I feel like slapping you for even making me think about that." Now was his turn to laugh at her teasing tone.

"Well, if it makes it any better, if anyone hurt you, I'd make sure to haunt the hell out of them."

"Stop it!" she swatted his arm lightly, careful not to hurt him as she rested her head against his chest.

After that, none of them said anything. They were both revelling in the feeling of the hot water and the time they got to spend together after such a distressing period of time.

"I know you said you didn't want to think about it," Haley started talking as her hand cupped his cheek, "but I'm worried about you. And Jamie."

Nathan knew this was coming. As much as he'd wanted to pretend nothing had happened, as much as he tried to tell himself he was alright, he knew he wasn't. Being with Haley these last couple of hours made him forget about it, but now that they were back to real life, all those thoughts and memories consumed him all over again.

"You know I'm here if you want to talk... about Dan." Haley's voice was almost broken. Nathan felt like closing his eyes at the mention of his father's name. He really didn't know what he felt.

"I don't even know how I feel, Haley." he finally let out. "It's like I'm numb and I can't even process it. Today was very intense and it's been so much at once that I feel that nothing hit me quite yet." It was the truth. He was sure tomorrow reality would sink in and he'd be able to realize what and how he felt, what was going through his mind, especially about Dan. Despite what he had done, that man had been his father and he had died to save him. There was a weight in Nathan's heart every time he thought about it. He fought the urge to cry just thinking about it. Would things be better for him and for his family if he had forgiven him earlier?

"It's okay." he felt Haley's hands around her neck as she tried her best to hug him. Her scent was everything he needed to shake those thoughts out of his head. He had plenty of time to deal with that tomorrow. Right now, he just wanted to hold Haley and to think about the two of them and their family. Nothing more.

"Let's deal with it tomorrow. Today, right now, is just for us." Just as he finished talking, he pushed them down more in the water. "The water's getting cold. Maybe we should get out." Nathan looked up looking for the towels so they could dry off, but he found none.

"Ugh, I forgot to bring towels..." Haley chuckled as she remembered just why she'd forgotten the towels.

"I'll get them. Stay here." Nathan ordered as he got up from the bathtub, before vanishing into their bedroom.

While Haley waited for him, she started washing off the rest of soap there still was in her body.

"Uh, Hales?" she heard her husband's echoing from their bedroom. Before she could answer him, he was in front of her, only a white towel wrapped around his waist, holding a pair of knee-lenght leather boots, a stretch Denim mini skirt and a gold V-neck top with an impressive low-cut. "Is this yours?", he asked again as his eyebrows quirked up with interest. This definitely didn't look like something Haley would wear.

When Haley saw just what Nathan was holding, she gulped. Obviously, she still hadn't had time to tell him how she'd fake seduced one of the bastards involved in his kidnapping. Though now wasn't the most appropriate time, she would have to tell him considering he was holding the clothes she had used that day.

"Yeah, they're mine." Nathan's face was a surprised one. He knew his wife better than anyone and he knew these weren't clothes she normally wore. Unless she'd bought them for something special for his eyes only. Yes, that was definitely a better option.

"Then I sure want to see you in them." he let out suggestively as handled her one of the towels.

"You definitely are the only person in the world I wouldn't mind seeing me in those." Oh, if he only knew... "Trust me."

"Oh... So that means you bought them just for me... Nice." He was flattered and Haley could only laugh at him. Wrapping the towel around her body, she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the bathroom.

"I did buy them for you, but not really for what you're thinking." Would he freak out that she'd done what she did? Haley had no idea, but she knew she had to tell him.

"What for then?" Haley chuckled, amused at how she'd been able to do such thing and hoping Nathan would find it just as funny now that everything was over. Motioning him to sit down on their bed, Haley started telling him everything: how she'd been desperate before the police and everyone's passivity over his disappearance and how she'd do anything to find him. Then Dan and his knowledge came in and they had come up with a plan - if she seduced the drug dealer, then Dan could find out where Nathan was.

"You did WHAT?!" Nathan looked like a spring as soon as he heard the words "Haley", "Seduce" and "guy _who wasn't him_" in the same sentence.

"It was just to fool him." She quickly assured him.

"Did he touch you?" Nathan was furious. He knew he was. Not only had his wife gone to a bar full of perverts and flirted with a very dangerous guy, but she also put herself at stake while doing it. What if the guy had known she was Nathan Scott's wife? What if anything went wrong? What was she thinking? And dressed like that? He could already imagine how every single guy in that bar had drooled over her.

"He tried, but I didn't let him. The most he did was put his arm around my shoulders."

"Did he hurt you?" His blood was boiling. If this guy had done anything to her...

"No. There was just some nauseating flirting until I got him outside and Dan got him." Seeing him so tense, Haley decided to cup his face. "I knew that I had to do this to find you."

"What were you thinking? What if something had gone wrong? Things could have gotten worse!"

"They couldn't possibly get any worse than not knowing where you were. I had to do this, Nathan. And I would do it all over again if... it happened again." As soon as she spoke, she immediately knocked on the wooden dresser. Nathan seemed to have relaxed a little.

"It was dangerous, Haley." He said more calmly.

"It was, but I had to find you."

"And I don't like you flirting with other men." He knew he was being irrational and that the flirting was part of the plan, but it still bothered him. Especially when she was wearing those clothes.

"Oh, please. I felt like throwing up while doing it. He made me sick. But then I got to punch him and kick his balls so he paid for it."

"You what?!" That had caught Nathan off-guard. Oh, right. Haley still hadn't told him what had happened next. For the next few minutes, Haley told him the rest of what had been an adventure with a happy ending.

"You still shouldn't have done it, Haley. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you while you were trying to rescue me." Nathan couldn't believe what he Haley was telling him. "Promise me you won't do it again."

"It wouldn't have been your fault, Nathan! And I know some people think this was stupid and crazy, like you and Carina, b-"

"Who's Carina?" Nathan asked, intrigued.

"Just some girl who hates me." Haley dismissed. "But what I'm trying to say is that I had already done everything that I could possibly do. Nobody was moving a finger to find you!" Nathan watched as she started tearing up and he felt the sudden urge to pull her to him. "I realized I had to do something myself in order to at least know if you were alive. And I will never be able to promise I won't do whatever it takes for you. I can't, because I will do it anywhere, anytime."

"Okay." Nathan finally gave up as he kissed her forehead. He had been worried about her, but so proud and happy that she would do anything to get him back. He never doubted that for a second. "I just want you safe, Haley."

"I am", she assured him, wrapping her arms around him and lightly kissing his neck. "And you are, too."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Her eyes were now borrowing into his as she caressed his cheek with her right thumb. "Why don't we forget all about this and think about the future?" Haley suggested just as she took her clothes she had used that day from his hand and tossed them to the side.

"It won't be easy." He said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I know. But I'll be here. I always will be." She said, resting her head against his. It had always been this way. Things were never easy, but they had always faced them together and they would always make it through. This wouldn't be any different and the bright future would come soon enough.


End file.
